A not so solid thumbs up

As mentioned before, I was able to fly with Phil yesterday. After hours of study the night before, I was able to pass my oral "pre exam...exam" by the skin of my teeth. Phil was great though....he helps you pull correct answers out from the depths of your brain, especially when you are stuck in tunnel vision mode. There were a few times that I would answer him with a totally dead wrong answer, but overall, he was able to help me think things through to correctly answer a question. I do believe a lot of my problem with this pending check ride is incredibly self induced. If I would just freaking relax, I would probably do a lot better. I've had this silly passion for flying since I was 5 years old and my grandfather (who was a private pilot) took me up a few times. He retired his wings by the time I was around age 7 and picked up boating. Though I always enjoyed steering the boat, my passion remained in the sky. So, maybe that is why I am struggling so much with this exam prep? I'm too damn passionate and almost totally desperate to finally achieve that goal.

This leads me to my next portion of my "pre exam," flying. This I did pretty well. I did make a few bone head mistakes such as....Not looking out the damn window to see if anyone else was out there before I turned. Why? Because as Phil put it....."I'm a really good instrument pilot!" If I was working on my Instrument Pilot rating, I'd be in great shape. I'm working on my VFR (Visual Flight Rules) rating and therefore...I should have my damn head up and looking out the windows. Sad thing is....when I solo...I'm very much in own natural element up there and look out the window all the time. But....for some reason, this damn exam preparation has my head so far up my ass....I can't see the light of day around my own stupid shit!

Long story short....when all was done and Phil and I were back in his office to review my day at the airport, his final ruling was that I was a GOOD PILOT (Thank God) and that he is recommending to my instructor that I am qualified to take the Practical Exam. Sweet! Another step in the right direction. I was really surprised by his opinion. I thought my own stupidity got the best of me. Maybe I'm just too hard on myself.

I think a lot of people in my life would say that I'm pretty easy going, care free and relaxed about a lot in life. My own mother for whom I'm very close to has commented to that effect. Truth is, I believe that I'm a lot harder on myself than most people, including myself, realize.

Last night, I sent a 767 full of sick, close to death and badly handicapped people to Lourdes, France for a "miracle bath." I was talking to Bob Lowe, a person who has been blessed with a second chance in life, last night. I was telling him my own personally opinion about this Lourdes trip and how I feel that it's a bunch of crap. I've never heard of anyone from these charters (they take place once a year) coming back and being cured of their ailments. Bob on the other hand told me how beautiful this trip is for these people and how the "bath" can provide the miracle of healing. I have the deepest respect for Bob as he as already been dead on the table twice from a horrible motorcycle accident and been told he would never walk again....has beaten incredible odds. His comment to me was, look at him, obviously he was granted a miracle. I agree.....but I did say to him and this is true.....that his positive (I will walk again and nobody is going to stop me) attitude probably played a much bigger role in his life. Personally, I'm very spiritual...and not very religious. It is my spiritual belief that Bob was given the miracle of life AGAIN on that day he was laying dead on the table at Hershey Medical Center. How he is able to walk again....that I believe is a testament to his attitude, spirit and drive.

I could be wrong about all of this though....Who am I? What the "F" do I know about life or power of God? After all....I'm the guy who goes on a "pre check ride" with the hopes of getting a thumbs up so I can prove my skills to the FAA....and forgets to even figure out which direction I'm supposed to fly before we take off. (-: Another Big Ooops!

Today I became 10883 days old. Good or bad...I'm thankful that I've been able to wake up every single one of those days. Now, I think I'll drink my morning orange juice and eat some oatmeal to toast my good fortune in life. Then...I'm going to mow the lawn...because I can!

Abused quote for the day: "I love the smell of lawn mower fumes in the morning"