P-Bone

Got a call from "Crowbar" the other day. Though the call was mostly business, he did advise that he had to take a leak on a flight and it was difficult for him as he was suffering from the temporary male phenomena called, "Pee Boner." Though I have not bothered to research the actual factual basis for such a stiff and sensitive problem, I can say with absolute confidence, men know what I'm talking about. For those who suffer from this problem, which would be every guy who is capable of wood, you also must know how difficult it must be to preform the "Pee Boner Push Down." This involves pushing down one's own penis, while standing on tip toes with the goal of successfully urinating inside the toilet. It's hard (pun intended) enough to do this while at home, imagine trying to do this in a skinny airplane lavatory. I couldn't possibly end this segment of wasted web space without mentioning the "Tenting" that the "Pee Boner" caused my good friend. How humiliating must it be to walk down a crowed airplane aisle as you head towards the can while "Tenting." This is when the erect penis causes containing fabrics such as underwear, pants or bedsheets to be raised in a tent-like shape.

Off Topic:

Weather and my work schedule have kept me grounded from continuing my flight training education. I hope to be able to climb back into the cockpit this week and get some hours and education in.

What's Next:

Tonight is a 10 year anniversary party for a couple of friends. Port o Pots kind of freak me out and this party has no other option for "evacuation." I'm down to 2 options for avoidance. 1. Poop as much as I can today prior to the party. 2. Drive a few miles to the nearest public flushable heaper in the event of a log flume. Mixing white trash men with beer Port o John and you have the perfect recipe for pee and poo....all over the toilet seat....much less anything else. White Trash Males at a party can make a gas station bathroom look as luxurious as the Waldorf Astoria.

Animal Kingdom Update:

I really think something must be wrong with my dog. His ass is producing some of the worst odors I've ever smelled....and....he's doing it ALL the time! This must be some sort of karma from years of fart appreciation. Well....others may just call it immaturity.

Signing off:

At least I've had a great chance to lay around and be lazy most of the day today. My schedule is insane in June....really freaking insane. I believe it was God that said we should rest on the 7th day. I followed those orders today. Too bad I don't seem to follow them more often. My lazy day is coming to a close as I need to get cleaned up, dressed up and emptied out before this party.